It's Wed August 21st.  The CT scan took place late last Friday afternoon.  The whole thing from leaving my house to arriving back at my house took less than an hour.  Lucy, our neighbour took us there and back.  Written results take about three weeks to get back to The Dr.  He can call in for results anytime.  I decided to call June this morning to let her know I had been scanned but she is not in today and I really do not feel like starting to explain things to someone else.  So, we hold for June.  

I wish I could say I feel good, but, it would not be true.  I feel rather without hope today.  I am powerless to effect the things I must.  I find it hard to avoid bitterness and negative thoughts about both myself and the people I thought were our friends.  We are abandoned.  Dying and going broke are real surefire ways to build relationships.  Today I get to watch a bank loan bounce for the second month in a row.  Friday I will watch my mortgage bounce.  Next week, next week.  We don't expect anybody to fix our problems, they are ours.  Not being erased from your memories would be nice, though.  A touch, a call.  I am not dead, yet.