Full acceptance of your impending death is not a straightforward process as I have found out over the last year or so. Being told that I have arrived at the end, and that extraordinary effort is required to sustain life for another six months is surreal and at first, terrifying. Transplant dreams. Dreams of life. The terror, the fear was short lived. Hours. I knew. I know. Nicole knows. Digested.
I woke up the next morning so early! The next one too, and all of them since. I doubt it will ever change now. I bounce out of bed. Alive! I have finally found heaven. I am in it. Here. Now. All around. This is it.
How about that, eh? I am rich beyond all measure. I have no regrets. I have made all the amends my soul requires me to make. I faced my demons. I am immensely proud of the man my life produced. There is no bullshit in the place I live in now. If I was not at peace now I would be immensely fucked. The demons would be tearing at me, waiting to consume me. Ha farking Ha.
Peace and light. No sign of anything but laughter love and the immense circle of life in my mind and outside my window. That is all there is!!
Bill dudes, go away. Harsh not my mellow I care not. Equity we got. When I get around to floating over that way I will take a look, maybe. Really :)
I feel good.
I called a couple of people today to come and visit. They both said sure, next month! Wow, eh? Whats a next month? lol
Love love love
short bursts of words and thoughts for a few days
Nicole and I are beaming in our little home looking at the meadow loving cats and each other to bits xoxoxoxoxoxo
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