Monday 26 January 2015

Monday at the front

Most of the time I am able to bliss out, more or less.  I don't know which world is which anymore.  The happy optimistic fellow enjoying his days or the lonely and crushed fool watching his world get smashed bit by little bit.

It's all fun and games until the world comes crashing in.  Then I know, I see.  I see nobody.  I hear nobody.  Nobody wants to know, really.  So it is.  So I made it, obviously.  

There will be no miracles or second lives.  The transplant clock will tick down along with all the other clocks until everything I have or am is smashed to bits.  I fought and fought and did everything I could to keep the moment away.  I did.  I am proud of me still.  I loose.  

I so wish I had started this blog anonymously.  Alice was right about that.  Spilt milk.  Nothing to do now.

I will be ok.  It's in my DNA.  I know that now.  Even at the very end I will see the good, I will be the good.  I am very thankful for that.  

I think I will go back now........

love  

cat pics soon G+ 

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